not the way that i do love you

less than a month until my vacation.

i couldn't be more excited to get away and have some fun.

and the world spins madly on

why is it that 3am always brings the best music (re)discoveries?

i'm not complaining, jamming in my pajamas never felt so good.

maybe it's time for you to stop waiting

So here I am. Once again. Working my behind off just for you. It's ridiculous because it's 2:53am right now and I'm trying to finish all my work in one sitting, way ahead of the due date, out of my ordinary procrastination style...JUST so I can spend some extra time with you before you leave. Blessing in disguise?
No.
Maybe.
No.

In other news, once I get really into writing something, my ideas just start flowing. I love that about writing papers late at night (ahem! early morning) because there's no one awake, facebook is dead so there aren't any distractions, and most importantly you're in a different state of mind. I've done experiments with my work ethic and have concluded that I work best under pressure. If I do my work in advance, I put little to no heart into the actual work. If I'm under pressure, I'm quick to find exactly what it is I need to say. Every single university professor always says "don't leave this to the last minute, we can read right through your bullshit" but they really can't. Maybe I'm an exception.
Maybe I could do better.
Maybe I'm not that great of a student.
Maybe tomorrow I'll walk outside and get hit by a bus.

But you and I both know that if we lived by maybe's and what if's... well we wouldn't really be living now would we?

and he treats your little girl like a real man should

Carrie Underwood is my hero. I love her voice and her southern charm.



This song is also so beautiful. The video is also really adorable because Mike Fisher is in it. This song makes me especially emotional. Songs about parents are usually the first to get me choked up. I find this song especially sweet because it's not often that you hear of the bond between mother and daughter and the step it is to be married. It's always about the father's letting their little girls go. I think for me, I'm close to both my parents so it'll be hard to let go for everyone.

Sigh. Now if I could just find me a keeper!

we laugh just a little too loud

I feel like if you're going to make a blog that isn't about your kids or your family, you should at least come up with something out of the box. Out of the box in terms of making it something that if you weren't you, you'd want to read. So for fun... I want to discuss my love of people and my love of talking. Why? Well, they're both really important who I am.

I am just one of those people who just loves to observe people. Maybe I stare a little too long. When I was a kid I was constantly being told off for staring at passers by and always trying to stick my nose in other people's business. I love knowing everything about people, no matter how significant or insignificant they are in my day to day life. This is often credited as a bad trait but I embrace it.

My mom comes from a small town where I know a few people in person but know all the gossip in town, even about people I will likely never meet. And for some reason I just love being in the loop. I'll have to steal a line from Carrie Bradshaw but I can't help but wonder if all people are like that but society frowns upon "gossip" and hearsay, that we pretend to have no interest. "I'm not getting involved" "It's none of my business" "I don't know if I'm supposed to tell you, but..." "You can't tell so and so I told you because I don't want to be involved.."- but in reality, I feel like more often than not we feel like we have the right to know everything. More often than not, I have friends tell me "I don't want to get involved" and then turn around and say "So I heard about so and so, but I didn't get the full scoop" expecting someone else (who's also trying to pretend they're impartial) to fill them in. I mean really, we're all guilty of gossip that I don't get why we don't embrace it and take it for what it is. Talk. People are always going to talk and as a wise lady once told me (okay it was Bonnie Raitt) why not give them something to talk about.

Talking is probably my favourite past time. I can talk to pretty much anyone about anything. I don't usually find it awkward and I'm the first to strike up a conversation with a stranger. I often talk a little too loud too. But regardless, if you need to know one thing about me, it's that I love to talk. I love to be heard but more importantly I love hearing what people have to say. I am one of those people who will ask every question in the book before I let an awkward pause go by. In fact I speak especially quickly to avoid awkward pauses and lulls in conversations. This isn't always to my advantage.

My grandparents are getting older and they ALL make the same comment whenever we speak "the older we get, the faster you speak and the less we understand you" I have to kick myself to remember to speak slowly and clearly. I mean if you think about it, grandparents have seen and heard a lot of things. The wealth of knowledge they share is priceless. The least I could do is speak slowly and repeat whatever it is I'm saying 10 times with patience. Old ears and tired minds aren't always ready to run a mile a minute. I think this is where our generation gap is most obvious. I always feel like I'm in a rush to be everywhere and no where all at once.

I could really take a lesson or two in stopping to catch my breath.



Excuse the raunchy 90's music video but it's the song of my childhood and it fits.

it's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do

I don't remember creating this blog but I think it was kind of a blessing in disguise. Tonight I really just wanted to write down exactly how I was feeling. Then I had a 90's-sitcom style flash back to this brief period in middle school when I was determined that I was some kind of closeted genius author and insisted on writing in a notebook every night before bed. Well I found that notebook the other night and let's just say I won't be writing the next great American novel.

Nevertheless, I think it's kind of neat where my life has taken me. I'm no where near the road to becoming a famous writer. In fact, since the last (and only) post my life has actually started down a specific road. I started off my post secondary school studying for a Sociology degree at a school that had everything I wanted, except options. I'm the type of person that expects options. That's my inner diva coming out but I think it's important to know what you like. Anyway, I left that school for a number of reasons. I didn't like sociology, it was too broad and lacked direction. I also didn't like being in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of drunks kids. It was not my element. I started off fresh in 2009 with a new school and new degree. Criminology. Every time I mention to anyone that I'm in criminology I get all kinds of reactions:

"Wow! That sounds so cool! Are you going to be like the detectives on CSI?"

"So you're going to be a cop right?"

or the never failing "Do you get to go on field trips to morgues and crime scenes?"

So here is my explanation. Criminology is the study of the social aspects around the Criminal Justice System (CJS - I use this abbreviation a lot). The study can be about prisons, the justice system, young offenders, health care, mental illness, disease, intervention, community issues, etc. And to be completely honest I'm only skimming the surface. There are legitimate theories and various schools of thought and approaches to criminology. It's pretty interesting and I'm really loving it.

The standard question that follows that explanation is usually "So what kind of jobs does that lead to?"

Well, the options are pretty vast. Think of it this way, as long as there are people committing crimes there will always be a need for someone to work with them (i.e. probation officers, police officers, lawyers, public defenders, psychologists, prison guards, etc) and not only within crime, I will technically have earned a Bachelor of Social Science which is pretty darn cool if I don't say so myself.

Where am I going? Well hopefully I'll be able to weasel my way into teacher's college. Wait up. Criminology to teacher's college? Well see this is kind of where I might have created a bump in my own career path. I wanted to be a teacher from the beginning and was accepted into many programs for early childhood education. I chose not to pursue these programs because they seemed to be very specific and I worried at age 17 that I'd have a change of heart. Well I haven't really changed my mind but I suppose I appreciate that I have options. If all goes according to plan, this summer I'll work in my aunt's school and get some experience working with kids. Then somewhere down the road I hope to be able to work with at risk youth or become some kind of counselor.

Now that the formalities of discussing school are out of the way I feel like it's time to get to the nitty gritty that is the thoughts and crap that pops into my head.

Until next time...